(Parody of “Shut Up and Dance” by Walk the Moon)

I’m at the urinal, there’s no one here but me,
Oh no, a dude walked in, I’ve got bladder anxiety!
Then he begins to talk to me, I’m like dude…
Shut up, I’m tryin’ to pee

Don’t know why my bladder’s shy
I can’t go no matter how hard I try
Gotta save some face with this chatty guy
So I’ll stand here just pretendin’ my flow is never endin’

He rambled on
While in the next urinal
There’s something wrong with this man

‘Cause then he dropped his pants
All the way to his knees
Just like a three-year old
Exposing his baboon hiney
All the while he’s blathering, I’m like dude…
Shut up, I’m tryin’ to pee!

I need it silent to take a leak
My mind just won’t let me release the stream
The porcelain is dry as a stale saltine
With people around the flow stops coming
Sound blocks up the plumbing

He yammered on
While I just stood there frozen
Trying to whizz when he said

Hey I’m on Ritalin to fix my ADD
So, what’s your story, man? I’ve got bladder anxiety!
He said “That sounds kind of funny”, I’m like, Dude!
Shut up, I’m tryin’ to pee

Oh, c’mon dude!

He seemed surprised
Since we’d been there a while
Then realized I hadn’t gone yet
He laughed so hard
He peed all over the floor
I got jealous and I said

You need to shut your hole, just get away from me
He said “what’s your deal, Bro?”, I’ve got bladder anxiety
Forget it, this is not working
Guess I should zip up my pants!

Cause you won’t shut your trap and it’s preventing me
From filling up this vat, I’ve got bladder anxiety
This dude starts apologizing, I’m like, Dude!
Shut up, I’m tryin’ to pee

Dude! Shut up, I’m tryin’ to pee
Dude! Bladder anxiety!