(Parody of “Shut Up and Dance” by Walk the Moon) One Pork Chop In Each Hand by J.Mikes I’m at the urinal, there’s no one here but me,Oh no, a dude walked in, I’ve got bladder anxiety!Then he begins to talk to me, I’m like dude… Shut up, I’m tryin’ to pee Don’t know why … Bladder Anxiety
Parody of “Wake Me Up When September Ends” by Green Day One Pork Chop In Each Hand by J.Mikes This film’s completely “crap”I think I’m gonna take a napWake me up when the movie ends How long does this chick-flick last?Three more hours? I think I’ll pass…Wake me up when the movie ends Audio’s quiet … Wake Me Up When The Movie Ends
(Parody of “I Hate Myself For Loving You” by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts) One Pork Chop In Each Hand by J.Mikes Just might use a landline, won’t FaceTime youPut on a shirt before I get in the poolI say things like “Bangin’”, and “I pity the fool” Oh, snap bracelet on my wrist now Unfoldin’ … I Date Myself With Things I Do
(Parody of “How You Remind Me” by Nickelback) One Pork Chop In Each Hand by J.Mikes Never could stick to a dietI couldn’t cut it as a hipster veganBought some chicken and I fried itWoofed it down without a guilty feeling And this is how much I love meatThis is how much I could eat, … How Much I Love Meat
Parody of “Honesty” by Billy Joel One Pork Chop In Each Hand by J.Mikes My head is clogged with mucusI’m breaking out in hivesStab me with a Benadryl syringe There’s so much swelling and rednessAll around my itchy eyesAnd waterfalls of postnasal drainage Allergies! Can someone find a cure?My nostrils are leaking goo Allergies! How … Allergies
(Parody of “Sugar, We’re Goin Down” by Fall Out Boy) One Pork Chop In Each Hand by J.Mikes We’ll need more than a few M&Ms To mix into our ice cream, Add in some three musketeersAnd slather it up in whipped cream Pasta is best covered in Hershey’s syrupSpread butterscotch on some French toastAnd garnish … Sugar, We’ll Get Diabetes
(Parody of “Honey I’m Good” by Andy Grammer) One Pork Chop In Each Hand by J.Mikes Nah, that’s not the passwordI can not remember characters I should inputWas it an O or Zero? (I don’t know) Was there a symbol here, did I type a space?Are there capitals or only lowercase?(Did I use) letter S … Not The Password
(Parody of “Desperado” by The Eagles) One Pork Chop In Each Hand by J.Mikes Mint Milanos, I give you all my affectionsYou’re my favorite confectionsto scarf right down Oh, you’re the soft onesWith all that chocolate in your creases Mint between your pieces, I’ve gained forty-five pounds Don’t you dare bring me those Chip’s AhoysNabisco’s … Mint Milanos
(Parody of “Happier” by Marshmello Ft. Bastille) One Pork Chop In Each Hand by J.Mikes Playing Fortnite, you’ve been stinkingI think you’re getting crappierI wonder if you’ll ever learn Why would you just runTo the fight without a gunYou’ll get trolled right away, in that lame default skinShot by try-hards with just a pump Every … Crappier
(Parody of “Glorified G” by Pearl Jam) One Pork Chop In Each Hand by J.Mikes What was sung?I’ve got no clueThat’s okay, I’ll just make it up Horrified merman, drunken pelicanCharles is really in charge (Motorized murder robot) skeleton(Porcupine turtle hedgehog) terrapin(Fortified Persian rugged) elephant(Corduroy skirt goes with a) cardigan MumblingEverythingNever could understand a thing … Horrified Bee